Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
