Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
