I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
