I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
