that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
