I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
