oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
