Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
