On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
