he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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