i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
