Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
