I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
