you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm both gender and math confused
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
