I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
