He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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