i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
