waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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