he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
