Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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