The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
