They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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