go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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