Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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