well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
