The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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