id be glad to
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
