My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
