Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
