Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
No subtext here. People are naked.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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