Pappa wants mamma naked
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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