Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
