the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
