I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
