So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
