You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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