fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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