he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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