Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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