We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
