He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
