I think scott just propositioned me for sex
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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