Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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