hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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