Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
