I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
