You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
