why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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