You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
