Me. At least after what I've been through.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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