Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
