You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
