if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
