I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my being single is dangerous.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
