They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
