talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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