Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
