O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
