he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
